Hey friends! I’m working on my 70 Day Challenge and I have to say, tiredness does not help this process!
One of the things I have been striving to do is to cut off Facebook access to myself. No checking on everyone and what they write, or commenting, unless it is for the blog.
But I am finding I may have to cut down even more. Why? Because being online at all to do anything while my children are awake is the WORSE use of my time as a Mom. I also find that some days, one way of keeping up my with my blog and contacts is reading and keeping up on other people’s blogs and contacts.
Why do I keep going to the internet? What is it I am trying to accomplish.
I am TIRED and want to be selfish and lazy and sit and look at Facebook and these blogs for the majority of my time, zoning out if necessary so I can just think all about ME. There. I admitted it.
Even this morning while I was working on finding some posts about Egypt for another blog among my own posts, getting really caught up in the search, I was ignoring my kids.
My daughter let me know with a huge note saying I wasn’t watching her play she made up right (which she was trying to do with the boys) and that she didn’t feel loved by me right then.
To be honest, I was a bit aggravated and wasn’t nice with my own attitude.
Her play seemed to be constantly interrupted and I was working on my blog.
HOLD UP! Did you hear that?
What did I just do there? I just made my blog a priority over my daughter.
It’s not like it is a money making blog where I can get some income (though there is a hope for that some day) where I can’t stop and pull myself away to watch my daughter. It’s not like I will die if I get off at that moment.
It isn’t providing anything but a way for me to connect with others, and yet there are living and breathing children right here to connect with!
And was I connecting with my daughter? NO.
So as I stood in the kitchen after shutting it all down I went on my knees and just asked God to restart me. Help me to focus on the things that are important. Break through my selfishness. I don’t want to do things because of my selfishness, but help me to do them anyways. Show me how to get ample sleep at night so I could truly bless my family. Let me begin again.
Tiredness is not a good thing. But focusing on it is not always a good thing either.
After truly praying and surrendering, I got up refreshed and did what we would have done right after eating breakfast…cleaned the downstairs. Everyone had a job, including me, and that’s what we did. Then we packed up in the car like I had planned the day before and headed over to my Mom’s because part of the plan was to do a fiesta together after studying through Mexico.
I almost didn’t want to do it! All my kids attitudes were stinky and that tired selfish part of me just wanted to say “Forget it!” (You know you have had those days!). And, because of that tiredness, I just didn’t even want to take the effort. Note to self: Get more sleep!
So, again, I went on my knees. “Oh Lord, what do you want me to do? Help me to keep my yes and yes and my no as no and help me stop berating my children when I am part of the issue.”
We picked up my Mom and went shopping for the few items needed to make the party a hit. She was in tremendous pain so I dropped her back at home and prepared for the afternoon.
Remember how I said yesterday I was bad, too? I literally felt pulled to the computer. I felt like I was fighting it all day, and I realized I had not much sleep then, either.
Well, in the midst of that we made tissue paper flowers and tried to finish those earths we made by making them into piñatas. (Well, they weren’t staying where we had them, that’s for sure!) I also raked tons and tons of leaves to the back where my kids, and others, played in them and made a really cool fort.
Can I just say, they had a blast? And it kind of redeemed the day.
Then we played Limbo and Musical Sombrero, which is pretty much like musical chairs, but you have to pick up a hat instead of sit down and the smiles were all around! Yay!
I had a hard time keeping that piñata up so I had to tie it funny, but at least it worked!
And then for dinner we had: tortillas, chicken, hamburger meat, shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, cheese, sour cream and salsa where each person could make their own. Sserved with water and hot chocolate on the side.
Did I mention I had Mariachi music playing in the background! And the food on red and green place mats!
When I told my husband I couldn’t find anything white to put on the table, he said the tortillas are white (I love that man!).
It was such an amazing experience. My husband enjoyed having dinner ready when he got home and hearing the music in the background. 🙂 He even commented on how nice the paper flowers came out yesterday (pictures to follow!) which blessed my heart.
Here are the tissue paper flowers we did yesterday.
So, all in all, it was good. I am still tired, but I feel satisfied that I redeemed the day. That I didn’t allow myself to fall too far off, though I want to get better. And that my family was still blessed!
So some of my goal as far as internet for the next week?
Not turning anything on (except maybe music) and only working on my blog at night when the kids go to bed.
My other goal? To get more sleep!
Not just for me but for those I care about. I am really hoping for the best and am praying that God helps me through those everyday selfish/tired moments, because they aren’t worth it. The big picture is so much more important so I can run this race with endurance, amen?
Be inspired today!