I am sitting here at my computer tired and done. D-O-N-E
I am done with being addicted to food that never seems to fill me up and I keep wanting more.
I am done with watching movies late into the night where I can’t function the next day.
I am done checking Facebook more than 3 times a day and realizing it would be so much better to talk to these people in real life.
I am done with watching my heart chase things that never satisfy and stumbling constantly over my own flesh.
I’m tired of being angry.
I’m tired of being on survival mode.
I want to live purposely. I want to live rightly. I want all of what God has for me which includes the most all-inclusive, most amazing, knock your socks off relationship with my Savior.
And as I battled watching a TV show last night with my husband to almost 2 am in the morning, something had to give. I was tense all night. Battling dreams and whatever else I had opened up.
And I was done. I wanted to curl up into a ball and never come back out.
I went on my knees in my heart, though I really should have just done it physically. I want God.
So, one of the things that popped in my mind after rereading the first chapter of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode by Crystal Paine was her idea about how she said goodbye to Facebook so she could focus on those things that were most important.
So today I told the people who are on my Facebook that I would no longer be using Facebook to communicate and if they wanted to keep in contact, my number was readily available, as was my email. Facebook would only be used for promoting my blog and promoting other great blogs.
After that I thought I needed to work on my weight again. Really focus on my food and exercise. How to help me get healthier. And so I made a weight goal and what I would like to see in the next 70 days.
By the way, I can’t do any of this on my own. I know every waking moment will have to be surrendered to God. I have no will power of my own. I don’t have any super strength. Just a super hope of a super God.
Would you like to know some of the things I wrote down?
70 Day Challenge: Hands-Free/Electronic Free, Prayer, Health, Fitness, Focus
Why 70? Well, at first I was thinking 73 so I could finish this challenge by the end of December but I really felt it pressed on my heart to just go to 70. So after I wrote 70 I began to ask God why. The answer was quite surprising.
70 x 7- Jesus said we needed to forgive others 70 x 7 times. Over and over.
And as I was praying about that I realized not only were all my issues bad, but they may be connected to unforgiveness. Unforgiveness of myself and unforgiveness of others.
Wild, isn’t it?
Anyways, here is what else I wrote in my journal.
Goals: 220 lbs, prayer daily, Made to Crave Study with two other great women
Tired of Living Without Purpose. Unfocused.
In Sunday School today the scriptures we read were on Romans 14:14-23. It just felt like confirmation to me that this journey was needed. That my struggles are real. That I have addictions that need to be fought. I need to slay my dragons, before they turn on me and destroy all I hold dear.
26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.[a] 28 You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. Ezekiel 36:26-28
Let it be so God!
What my Pastor said during service about this verse:
Am I willing to surrender what I believe about God?
Who am I living for, even in my morning routine?
What does Jesus want?
You can see the affects of my actions on those who are close to me.
Are we hearing his voice? Are we even listening to it?
What do we do when He shows up?
God tells us He loves us too much to leave us alone. You need to pray.
Are we living life as if we have had a heart change in us.
So tomorrow I start my journey. If you want to join me on this journey of growth please leave a message below and I dare you to cut off those things that have become idols in your lives so that you can hear our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ more clearly. So you can feel where the Holy Spirit is truly leading you.
Be inspired today.